I apparently have claim on a boy I don’t know’s butt? #latergram #sytycd
Unsurprisingly, @samiijoh and I did a thing on tumblr just now. #sameperson #bff
So I’m posting this a little bit late, but can we take a minute to appreciate the best graduation present ever? It’s an altered book that my mom made out of the Fault in Our Stars. (Since she knew it was one of my favorite books) It’s kind of like a scrapbook, only it’s made out of the pages of a book instead (John, I hope that you don’t mind that my mom altered it). She used pictures, clippings, material, and other things I’ve gotten way back from when I was little to Senior Year. She even made tabs in some places, so you can lift it up and see the quotes. Thank you so much mom. This truly is the best graduation present ever.
i pretend to be this badass with no fucks to give who’s just living my life by my own rules and not listening to anyone else’s opinion on the matter. sometimes, i can even convince myself that it’s all true. that i really don’t care about what other people think when they look at me. or how they’re analyzing my every word / action.
and then someone new comes into my life and suddenly all i want to do is hide under the covers and listen to something corporate / early dashboard confessional and be a scared little girl. terrified that i’m going to say something wrong. that i’m going to do something stupid. that i’m not pretty enough. that i’m not good enough.
someone, sometime is going to finally see through the facade and realize that i’m just as insecure about everything as the next person. and it’s going to be because i let them. and it’s a scary thing to realize that maybe the newest person in your life could be that person. to know that i’m
scared of things scared of everything. and i don’t want to be; god i don’t want to be. but i am.
and i don’t know if i’m more terrified of letting go of my image or not being good enough when i do. but right now, i’m in a really weird place and i hope that people understand that when i’m not so focused on them, but instead i’m staring at my phone wondering what i’ve fucked up to not get a reply for hours.
I AM ALLOWED TO COMPLAIN
I AM ALLOWED TO CRY OVER SIMPLE THINGS
I AM FULLY AWARE THAT OTHER PEOPLE HAVE PROBLEMS TOO AND THEY ARE PROBABLY WORSE OFF THAN I AM
DO NOT REMIND ME OF THAT WHEN I AM UPSET
MY FEELINGS ARE VALID
I AM ALLOWED TO COMPLAIN
WHAT IS SIMPLE TO YOU COULD BE STRESSFUL TO ME
STOP TELLING ME TO THINK ABOUT PEOPLE THAT HAVE IT WORSE
STOP STOP STOP
THIS IS IMPORTANT
She is so beautiful. You don’t get tired of looking at her. You never worry if she is smarter than you: You know she is. She is funny without ever being mean. I love her. I am so lucky to love her, Van Houten. You don’t get to choose if you get hurt in this world, old man, but you do have some say in who hurts you. I like my choices. I hope she likes hers.